Do you feel that you’re falling apart? Keep reading to find a solution.
The men in my family have a history of acting on impulse. My father once got drunk at the St. Patrick’s day, painted his horse green, and, riding without saddle, went to a bar with a woman who was not my mother. All this, unleashed the fury of my grandfather, I say it was the drunk, a liar and a cheat more charming county of Ada, Idaho.
Just like all my features are dark and long nose, it is possible that my tendency to be reckless and rebellious to be genetic. And I was beginning to ride the same horse. But after a scene-type Hey, where’s my car? two years ago, I vowed not to re-use the way of evading the problems favorite of my family and I got to find another way to reassure me.
After, there arose the following question: How could I really change? Could you give up the harmful things, but also gain something with this? The meditation sparked my interest because his promise was so simple and yet so out of my reach: peace of mind. I read about the practice and began.
I sat down on the edge of my bed, eyes closed, breathing deeply, trying to put my mind blank. I was a disaster. My thoughts returned immediately. Plan how you could ask for a raise at work, and to win a discussion I was having with my girlfriend. I was wondering how you would handle the weekends, and the meetings of the university without alcohol, or confusion. Then happened something significant: I started to notice the turmoil that provoked me to think about in the future.
When my thoughts take control and do the first thing that comes to mind for me, I have the delicacy of mind of a freight train out of control. I become the guy who handles the work as if it were in the Formula 1. Sending emails regrettable that open with: “WTF”. And I pull the leash of my dog when he stops to smell something for a long time because “hey, I have things to do and you smell this same tree every morning friend”.
When you return each day to the edge of my bed to sit down, breathe, focus on nothing and return to nothing when I realize that my mind has wandered, I’ve noticed that the impulses, thoughts and emotions are like clouds floating through a blue sky: temporary. I don’t have to act motivated by them, nor did I have to believe them.
About a year ago I was driving and I heard someone in a podcast, explaining that if you take all the time that we know and put it on a scale of a year -called the “calendar cosmic”- the whole history of the humanity appears in the December 31, close at 11:59 pm. When I heard that, I realized how insignificant I am in the grand scheme. I almost go crazy.
Then it occurred to me: how can I change the time? No. Do you go crazy in search of the meaning of life and what comes after this, is it good for me? No. What I have enjoyed thoroughly my life and I have so much to be thankful for? Yes. I was sitting in a pickup truck of half a ton, with a V8 engine and with air conditioning, and I was headed to a job that I love, where I help men to improve their lives.
It is a great time to be a man, and I’m grateful for every moment of good luck. I may not be significant from the point of view of cosmic, but I import on a smaller scale, trying to think less about myself and more in others.
Now at work I hear statements like “you’re better than me at this. What do you think?” and “I’m sorry, is my fault. I’ll settle”, coming out of my mouth. When someone gets into my office with a “big problem”, I understand that it is not to much (it never is) and solve it with calm. At home, my girlfriend and I don’t fight because I now know that my way is not “the way”; it is “a way”. And I wait until my dog has finished sniffing the objects, urine-soaked, before continuing our walk.
I guess that many men are where I used to be. It is the TWENTY-first century. We are distracted, nervous, accelerated, stressed, scattered and overwhelmed. We are tense and desmoronándonos even when we are in a relaxed environment. We react to the alerts, buzzes, and flashing lights on our cell phones while we are at home with the family, playing golf with friends, even hanging out alone. We care about the following before you end up with what we are doing.
The irony is that never has there been more or better ways investigated to help relieve stress, create peace of mind and live in the now. The meditation helped me, but I know that is not for everyone. Through her, I’ve come to realize that the rest mental has many facets.
Our parents may have reason. Maybe walking in the forest, trying to arreglaren a vintage car, or sipping a cool lemonade in a cafe while we see passing traffic, it is all that we need. Perhaps the answer is not to try to find nirvana, but realize that nirvana can be here if we discover ways of engaging our brain in a different way and focus in the moment, even when we brush the teeth.
But, how to get from here (tense, exhausted, irritable) up there (calm, present, patient)? Here is your guide to making space for yourself and so that you can live the life you’ve always imagined, while you still have time.